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Birthday Etiquette

I met a woman the other day and we got talking. Her birthday was coming up and she was excited about what her husband and kids might be planning for her to make her day special. The thoughts were small, nothing grand or over the top. Simple things like, breakfast made for her, or a family lunch out, maybe a family bike ride on the path, or even a night out to dinner. She has mentioned how she wanted to try a cute diner in the neighboring town. Birthday cake definitely.

She talked to me about memories of her childhood and even part of the adulthood she spent living with her parents and even if things were going on, everyone got at least a birthday cake and a birthday song sung for them. She remembered every birthday cake, even if it was standing around the counter with just her parents, or the special birthday parties. Even her dad would make a cake for her mom so she had one on her birthday.

I had to know what her family had done for her so I called her yesterday to see how everything was and if she enjoyed her day. All the birthday wishes on facebook from people that she didn't even talk to everyday was her highlight. She was so happy that they would take the time to type in a birthday wish for her.

Other than that she was declaring the fact that from now on she will have no birthdays. That way she can't get her hopes up anymore of something that might be done for her. Or the fact that yet again, another year will pass by without a birthday cake. Her husband had worked hard all week to be able to take the day off which made her hopeful, but the day was taken off to spend the morning and early afternoon with his friends.

She had gotten roses and a quick "By the way, Happy Birthday." A card was given that was signed for the kids so even they didn't tell her happy birthday. Her close friends wanted to know if she could do lunch or dinner to help celebrate and she told them another day since she would be with her family. She regretted that. She hated herself for not taking charge herself, for thinking something might have been done.

After realizing, she decided to go about her day like it was any other and did some work, and then went to bed early just so the day would disappear that much quicker.

I told her I would take her and her kids out today and do it right. Let me tell you, everyone deserves to celebrate in some little way, their birthday. A cake, a breakfast, or even just a big family hug so the kids can see that mom's, or dad's have their own special day also.

So remember, even if you aren't a birthday person, your partner might be. Take the time to learn how they like to celebrate their day. After all, it is about them, not you.

By the way, this is not a story about me and has no connection to me. My family would never do this to me on my birthday. I always at least get a cake.

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