Friday, May 4, 2012

Lady, are you crazy?

I had a stroke of insanity today and took Kadence and Jakob with me to Easton so I could return a few items. We went to Macy's and the cashier gave them both a square of bubble wrap to pounce on while we did our exchange thing. We held hands and walked across Easton to the train exhibit so they could run back and forth, back and forth, back and forth to watch as much of the train as they could. We rushed into Barnes and Noble so they could both go to the bathroom, even though as soon as they walked in both said they didn't have to go. Yes, I was that woman sounding exasperated as she pleaded with her kids to "just try to go", yes I was the woman who it must have sounded like I was abusing my kids as they said "stop it mommy! Leave me alone mommy!" as I coaxed them into going to the bathroom because not 10 seconds ago they both grabbed themselves and shouted "I have to go!!"

We said goodbye to the train and as the both started moaning about how hungry they were, my brain quickly assessed the parent to child ratio. I decided to risk it and took them to Max and Erma's. It was typical, they fed off of each other and my hair was standing on end by the time we left.

Obviously I needed more. I took them into the Aveda store, told them nicely that this was a "no touch store." I Grabbed what was needed as my kids were tackling each other and moving shelf tags around and made my way to the cash register. The very lovely aveda lady then asks if I would like to take part in the hand treatment she was about to give two customers.

I looked at the kids, I looked at her, and I imagined what the store would look like after I finished the treatment. One word: Disaster waiting to happen. (ok so it wasn't one word, but disaster needed help being described.)

Meanwhile, my kids are being unruly and I keep telling them to "get over here!" "Don't touch that!" "stop that!"

I point to the both of them and shake my head no. Then I politely say "If you want your store to remain looking like this, I best not." while what I really wanted to say was: "LADY! are you CRAZY! look at my hethens! imagine how they would be if I sat over there with my hands in a bowl of soapy water for 10 minutes!" That is NOT what I call relaxing.

I left the store with product in hand and her store still in tact. As we three walked hand in hand to the car I thought how spoiled I was when I just had Krischan. He would have sat there quietly while I did the hand treatment. How foolish I was to think he was so good because of my parenting skills. How foolish I was to look at other parents who had the crazy unruly children, and think "take control!"

Trying to take control of two free-spirited kids is like trying to coax a tornado on a different path than the one heading toward your home.

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