I will warn everyone ahead of time. There is a ton of TMI in this and talk of girl parts and such. Don't read if you have no sense of humor and get offended by things.
Rick surprised me this morning by having his mother pick up Kadence so that we could ride on our new tandem. (well it isn't new, but that is another story)
It has been at least 8 years since we rode our last one that we had to sell.
We are good to go and walk down the end of the driveway. (I am a bit particular and refuse to ride on our gravel driveway.) We hop on the bike and Rick and I know immediately that the seats are all wrong. (I am not talking position, but comfort)
I know...you are saying that there is no way a bicycle seat is comfortable to begin with. You are wrong, they can be completely comfortable. Make sure you have some good cycling shorts on and you are good to go. My queen bee bike for example, I could ride for hours if I chose and would be most happy at the end of the ride.
About 20 minutes into the ride I started to wonder how long my clitoris was going to be numb after this ride. I shifted my hips forward, I shifted them back. I shifted them here and there. Nothing helped.
On a tandem you have to communicate all of this by the way. I typically just say "shifting" and Rick knows to stop pedaling and let me stand, or shift, or whatever I need to do.
Rick finally asks me after the millionth time "That bad huh?"
My response: "I know you might think it feels good to put all that pressure on it, but it doesn't. Who knows when I will be able to feel anything down there again. I might not even know your down there ever ever again...This could be bad."
It might be months before I can have sex because of that damn seat. Pretty sure it has made my clitoris fuse with my bone.
It made me think that if I am numb and can't feel anything, it would probably make for good marathon sex...but what good is that if you can't feel anything?
Rick asked me if I needed to shift any later in the ride. At this point my thought, and answer was this:
"HELL NO! If I take any pressure off of my clit, then the blood will flow back in and the pain will commence and make it worse to sit back down on the seat causing even more pain till it goes numb again. It is better just to stick it out, work through it, and hope to God that I am not doing any kind of permanent damage to my ability to have an orgasm."
He wasn't faring any better, but for him, it was other things.
Finally 27 miles later, we get home. I tell him to let me off in the road, there is no way I am going to ride on the gravel...I might do further damage.
I get off the bike and have to stand there with knees bent before I can move as my girl parts realized that they were still alive. I slowly walk up the driveway, into the house, up the stairs and into the shower.
If I didn't have to pick Jakob up from the bus stop, I would have layed on my bed after the shower, spread eagle style just so everything could "go back to normal"
But I have to trudge on. Who made those stupid seats? Obviously not a human, or at least a human that had no girl parts. I can see it now, some man was designing the seat saying. "Uh,Duh, let's put the edge of the concave here, and uh, the place for the indent over here, uh..."
Stupid Bicycle seat designers. Make them sit on those seats...
Rick surprised me this morning by having his mother pick up Kadence so that we could ride on our new tandem. (well it isn't new, but that is another story)
It has been at least 8 years since we rode our last one that we had to sell.
We are good to go and walk down the end of the driveway. (I am a bit particular and refuse to ride on our gravel driveway.) We hop on the bike and Rick and I know immediately that the seats are all wrong. (I am not talking position, but comfort)
I know...you are saying that there is no way a bicycle seat is comfortable to begin with. You are wrong, they can be completely comfortable. Make sure you have some good cycling shorts on and you are good to go. My queen bee bike for example, I could ride for hours if I chose and would be most happy at the end of the ride.
About 20 minutes into the ride I started to wonder how long my clitoris was going to be numb after this ride. I shifted my hips forward, I shifted them back. I shifted them here and there. Nothing helped.
On a tandem you have to communicate all of this by the way. I typically just say "shifting" and Rick knows to stop pedaling and let me stand, or shift, or whatever I need to do.
Rick finally asks me after the millionth time "That bad huh?"
My response: "I know you might think it feels good to put all that pressure on it, but it doesn't. Who knows when I will be able to feel anything down there again. I might not even know your down there ever ever again...This could be bad."
It might be months before I can have sex because of that damn seat. Pretty sure it has made my clitoris fuse with my bone.
It made me think that if I am numb and can't feel anything, it would probably make for good marathon sex...but what good is that if you can't feel anything?
Rick asked me if I needed to shift any later in the ride. At this point my thought, and answer was this:
"HELL NO! If I take any pressure off of my clit, then the blood will flow back in and the pain will commence and make it worse to sit back down on the seat causing even more pain till it goes numb again. It is better just to stick it out, work through it, and hope to God that I am not doing any kind of permanent damage to my ability to have an orgasm."
He wasn't faring any better, but for him, it was other things.
Finally 27 miles later, we get home. I tell him to let me off in the road, there is no way I am going to ride on the gravel...I might do further damage.
I get off the bike and have to stand there with knees bent before I can move as my girl parts realized that they were still alive. I slowly walk up the driveway, into the house, up the stairs and into the shower.
If I didn't have to pick Jakob up from the bus stop, I would have layed on my bed after the shower, spread eagle style just so everything could "go back to normal"
But I have to trudge on. Who made those stupid seats? Obviously not a human, or at least a human that had no girl parts. I can see it now, some man was designing the seat saying. "Uh,Duh, let's put the edge of the concave here, and uh, the place for the indent over here, uh..."
Stupid Bicycle seat designers. Make them sit on those seats...
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