Wednesday, August 31, 2011

10 things I learned about gardening that I am sure I will forget by next year

as I happily tore my garden up yesterday with the tractor (because I am so over it this year) I thought of all the things I learned this year that I will carry onto next year. Ok, so I will forget them, no one is perfect.

1. Don't plant things people won't eat but you.
cantaloup. Every year I plant it and it has never grown delicious, but yet I still plant it. Even if it was delicious, I am the only one who eats it and I never eat it fast enough.

2. I am allergic to weeding.
I hate weeding and I just don't have the time to keep up with it. What I need to do is what my neighbor does and put down weed barrier.

3. Put more room in between rows.
I usually only put a foot, but then the plants start fighting and I have pumpkins on the other side of the garden from where I planted.

4. Cucumbers have sex and reproduce on their own. 1 plant = 500 cucumbers.
I should know this, but I always plant 5 and have cucumbers coming out of my ass. I now have a lifetime supply of pickles.

5. Vining plants need to be planted far apart from each other.
if you don't you only end up with a few items. I had one watermelon this year from 5 plants. I planted them way to close.

6. My red bell peppers never turn red. They rot before they get to that stage.
Either I don't know what I am doing (possible) or the store labels them wrong (this must be it)

7. Zucchini plants are huge.
I always forget this, hence they get planted way to close together an other things so I can't walk around them.

8. Watering is essential, but don't forget to turn off the sprinkler.
I flooded my garden several times this year.

9. Deer love my garden.
put up a damn fence and not just the posts.

10. Put the tomato cages around the plants when they are small.
this year I waited too long and it was a struggle to force the huge plant into the cages. I think this resulted in limb death and several tomatoes that grew on the ground for bugs to eat.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Days End

Another day is over and I think to myself: "What have I done today?"

What is it I have actually accomplished?

Given hugs and kisses to my children. Then yelled at them for splashing water out of the tub.

Enjoyed the sunlight on the front porch absorbing a good book while waiting for Krischan to get off the bus.

Made a mediocre dinner that will sit in the fridge and be forgot.

Gave my middle child some play-do to play with that I now can't find.

Cheered and jumped up and down when my daughter pooped on her own in her potty.

Worked in Quickbooks to fix the major foul up I caused.

Another day...and it is over.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

One thing that always amazes me

After my workout tonight, I walked right out the front door, into the night that was so beautiful it was breathtaking. There was enough of a breeze that it felt like little caresses all over my skin and I stood for awhile enjoying the coolness of the evening, looking up to see how stunning the night sky was. These are the moments that all thoughts of moving closer to the city vanish.

The stars shine bright, the air I breath in is fresh and cleansing. I turn my head up toward the sky and close my eyes. I hear Nirvana playing on someones radio off in the distance to the east, a couple of dogs barking to the north of me, and all around me crickets chirping enjoying the evening like I am.

This I think to myself, is perfect peace.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

When things go wrong

It is completely inevitable that when things are on a deadline, all hell breaks loose.

With work it happens when I have to present a design to a client the next day. My computer fritzes or my printer runs out of ink, or the network goes down.

Today doesn't deal with work, it deals with the kids. Of course, your thinking, what else would it involve.

Getting Krischan ready for camp has been to say the least, an experience. As I get ready to wash his white polo's I do a ditz thing and put in bleach and then for the fabric softner I place in the usual vinegar.(I do this to save money and no, your clothes won't smell like vinegar) When I usually do the whites I use regular fabric softner because I have heard vinegar and bleach don't mix.

Panic sets in, I try to pull out the tray to dump the vinegar and since there is a hole in the tray to deposit it into the washing machine, both bleach and vinegar mix and filter into the machine. Then I really panic as I hear them "fizzing"

Google: Vinegar and Bleach mixed together releases chlorine gas. GREAT! I am in the process of killing myself and my kids. I pull the clothes out, place them in a basket and place those on the porch, then I start the machine and hope for the best.

Imagination takes over as I see my washing machine explode in a fire ball shooting out of the roof of my house (which needs replace anyway.)

I feel my stomach start to hurt, my eyes start to burn, my skin starts to bubble. Then I hear screaming downstairs.

What now? Kadence and Jakob with expensive tile bars I bought to finish off the edge of our wall tile. I only needed 2 and a half pieces to finish the job and now I have 4 halves. All, broken.

Skin dripping off me as the gases get to me, I turn my head up to the ceiling and ask Why me? Why today? Then Krischan casually comes down to see if he can go play with Nick. "NO! do you want to go to camp?, we are still packing."

I understand that packing is not his priority, but If I pack everything for him, what is he going to learn? And I can't unpack for him or repack for him at camp anyway. Long pull of air in through my nose out through my mouth, repeat several times.

So here I am, skin still melting off of me. (Imagine Raiders of the Lost Ark) It is scary really. I would take a picture, but I am afraid I will ruin my phone.

All I can think is this: "It isn't even noon yet."

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

First movie experience

I remember the first movie I took Krischan to go see. "Finding Nemo". He lasted through a half hour of it. The first one he lasted through was "Shrek 2".

Jakob's first movie was "How to Train Your Dragon" Even now he loves that movie and could watch it over and over again.

Today I took Kadence to see her first movie. I was either brave, insane, or stupid. I will go with insane since I dealt with so much screaming today that I am pretty sure I will be deaf by nightfall.

To keep myself from running out of the house this morning screaming, I made the boys sit on their beds until it was time to leave for the dentist...One hour before we actually had to leave. It worked out perfect if I do say so myself, they made the wise decision to look at books together.

At the dentist office, Kadence threw a outrageous hissy when Jakob had the nerve to want to look at mommy's phone with her. She was so loud that the dentist actually came out and asked what was going on.

Me casually sitting on the other end of the couch reading about Katherine and Pippa's family secrets in Us Magazine, just shook my head and said she didn't feel like sharing today. He took Jakob back so that he could sit with Krischan and I could deal with little miss screaming hissy. FUN.

And yes, after all that, we took in some quick lunch and then a movie. I know, your thinking after all that screaming I actually wanted to take them to see a movie? All three, by myself?

Winnie the Pooh. 1 hour long and amazingly it was almost perfect. The only thing that would have made it actually perfect is if I got to watch all the movie.

Kadence preferred to watch the movie standing up, then sitting down, then on my lap, so I was more preoccupied with tending to her needs than the screen. Ready to dart out of the theater the moment her mouth opened to let out a high pitch scream. But we made it, and for her first experience, I am happy, insane, but happy.

Finally home I cut myself a rather large piece of brownie, ate it and licked the plate clean. I so deserved that. Now I am going to finish off the pan and lick that clean.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Office...

Fifty things to throw away. I am at 7 items after completing my bedroom and bathroom. Bathroom wasn't that bad considering that it is all torn up.

I was anxious to dive into my office so I skipped ahead to that part. My space is such a mess I have been having problems buckling down and doing the work that I need to get done. It just isn't a place I have wanted to be in, which of course makes doing work a bit difficult.

I am into my second day of clearing out and I still haven't scratched the surface. There is layer upon layer of crap in here, and I am hoping I might find a hidden treasure of money even. Not likely, but wishful thinking is fun.

It has so overwhelmed me that I needed something sweet to quell the feeling of being buried alive by ones own junk.

Step in: Out of the Box Brownies.com

My choice: Low-fat salty-scotch brownies. Of course I am not a fan of butterscotch so I substituted caramel (Sorry Denise.) And my caramel isn't low fat so I kinda ruined the whole, low fat idea of it. Oh-well, I was being buried alive, what did you expect!!

Be prepared, I am about to get lude and inappropriate.

I follow her directions very carefully, wait the whole 30 minutes, amazingly, then cut into the first brownie, which is always the hardest, especially when frozen.

I take my first bite.

OR...GA...SM. I kid you not, I just shivered thinking about it.
And with every bite. I even cut myself a second piece and went upstairs, sat in my office chair and put on The Tudors Season 3.

With a husband who is so busy getting everyone's bikes ready for Pelotonia he is hardly around right now, I needed this. Who said you needed your man to have a good time, all the time.

Today I had another one. WAA..Wow. I was so eager to eat another that I about had a fight with getting the damn brownie out of the pan. There has to be a trick to get a frozen brownie out of a glass dish.

Screw getting the brownie out of the pan, I will just eat it in the pan, they are low fat right? Denise?

It is very difficult to go back to cleaning your office after having multiple orgasms provided by a simple brownie. And to think...I wasn't the one being eaten.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Time to cleanse the...just everything

At Barnes and Noble I went into the section to find some inspiring literature on home decorating, but instead picked up the book "Throw out Fifty Things" By Gail Blanke. At that moment I decided the book was for me.

Everything happens for a reason and everything presents itself at the time you need it most. Something I very strongly believe in. I just wish I knew why all my crazy moments are presenting themselves. Maybe this book is going to explain that to me.

Maybe...

The point of the book is that you are cleansing and getting rid of things not only in your home, but in your mind. Basically you are getting rid of all that heavy stuff that brings you down, whether it is mental or material. As I began reading I was wondering if I could just throw out my house and make that item number one. My house so brings me down right now.

And as a mother of three, my house gets very messy and very cluttered very fast. Which, in point, is my main problem with my home.

I read the first section and was ready to go. The bedroom closet. Wow. I thought it would be difficult to part with some of the clothes or shoes I had but it was so easy to say "haven't worn in a long time", " not my style anymore" and "Holy cow! what was I thinking?" I filled up one whole black trash bag with clothes to give away and haven't even made it to the dresser and night stand yet.

I already feel relieved and felt positive energy emanating from me as I looked in my now clutter free and clean, organized closet.

Items #1: clothes
Items #2: Shoes

Wow, I still have 48 more things to go. This will be an interesting journey.

Here is the website for you to check out if this makes your top ten list of things you need to do: http://gailblanke.ning.com/